Will you join America Online, too? I wanna send someone Electronic Mail.

Written by Mr. Bessler on August 28, 1992

Modem? Check. America Online 2.0 diskette? Got it. Dad’s credit card info? Borrowed. Let’s do this.

Welcome To America Online
You're getting ready to try to [sic] most talked-about online service
in the Macintosh computing community.

YEAH! I don’t know anyone personally that’s talking about it, BUT YEAH!

Your America Online software will connect you to extensive computing
support, software libraries (over 25,000 Mac files), computer forums,
the top Macintosh hardware and software developers (over 100), 
electronic mail, advice for running your small- or home-based
business, message boards, travel and stock services, news and sports,
and chat and conferencing areas where you can meet with new and old 
friends to discuss topics that interest you.

That’s gotta be a run-on sentence. Either that, or whoever runs this company pays writers extra for each comma. Also, is it “whoever” or “whomever”? I should probably figure that out before I leave for college next week. I’m guessing the kids at UW-Stout are pretty hardcore about proper grammar.

A little history . . .
America Online began in October 1989 as an online service exclusively
for Mac and Apple II computer users. This is why you will find that 
America Online has a unique "Mac" focus, unlike other services that
primarily serve PC users, and have added Mac support as an afterthought.

(Cough. Cough.) I believe they’re talking about you, Prodigy.

Between 1989 and 1991, thousands of Macintosh and Apple II users
flocked to America Online; as a result, you can interact with friends
and colleagues who use all computer types on America Online.

All computer types? Even V.I.C.I.??

Send Instant Message . . .
Instant Messages are instant, "for your eyes only," messages that
you can send to anyone who is signed on to America Online at the
same time as you.

Surely, this form of communication will never be abused and cause stress to marital relationships.

People Connection -----------------
The online "social center" of America Online, where you can meet
other members, chat "live," and discuss your special interests,
the hot topics of the day, or just "shoot the breeze." Computing
industry notables and celebrities are often guests in the
"Center Stage Auditorium."

Nice. Let’s talk about basketball. We beat Angola 116-48. Croatia kept it close in the Gold Medal game–they only lost by 32 points.

Sounds: The America Online software is shipped with Sounds "on."
These sounds include "Welcome," "Goodbye," and "File's done." Other
sounds are controlled from within their own preference category,
including Chat sounds and Mail's "you've got mail."

I’ll probably turn these sounds “off,” but ok.

If you like America Online and would like to bring your friends aboard,
you can use the keyword: FRIEND on America Online to ask us to send
your friends free America Online software kits. For every friend that
you bring on to America Online, we'll credit you for a free hour 
online -- to thank you for helping to grow this online community.

Forget that thing about I said at the beginning about wanting send Electronic Mail messages. Please sign-up, because I WANT that extra hour. I NEED THAT EXTRA HOUR. Do you know how many shareware games I could download with that hour? At least three. Yeah, maybe just two.

Update (August 29, 1992 at 7:25PM): Urgh…I keep losing my connection every time someone calls our house. Half of the time it’s those Time-Life Books people. Will someone tell those guys that there’s no future in books? Books On Tape is where it’s at.