Say hello, if necessary

Operators are standing-by, anxiously waiting to route your electronic mail message to Mr. Bessler’s AOL account.


Your name. Or the name of your pet ferret. Whichever.


Your Email. Email addresses, pffft. What a fad.


Your message. Preferred format: Haiku verse.

 
Indicate which of the following computers you currently own or plan to buy in the next 6 months: 

Apple //e           I ownI plan to buy for Oregon Trail.
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MS-DOS              I ownI plan to buy. No, I'm not joking.
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Laser 128           I ownI plan to buy. I ♥ clones.
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Radio Shack TRS-80  I ownI plan to buy. I ♥ cassettes.
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Macintosh           I ownI plan to buy at Team Electronics.

Above: Don't even bother. Mr. Bessler hasn't logged-in to these in years. I mean, leading with Flickr? FLICKR?? Good lord, he's not even trying. If you're looking to sell Mr. Bessler wonderful Amway products—you can just show-up uninvited at his house, like these guys did. Additionally, hang-out at any random Chicago hot dog joint and you will eventually run into him, but keep in-mind that if you call-out his first name and he completely ignores you, there’s probably a valid, genetic reason. People actually collect these things now, you know, crazy people, like this guy.

Wow. That’s one helluva Submit button.

Sittin’ up there all quiet. A Flash button would be spinning or cooking you dinner. Nope, just a modest hover state. Actually, it’s kind of lazy. Damn button sits around all day and yaps about fantasy football. What are Sproles? Darren who? Is that your new boss?